Thicker Than Water
by papillon2
Summary: The first Ranmafic I ever started (And maybe someday I'll finish one!) Alternate Universe, first chapter only, starting at the typical Tendo Dojo Meeting... but it's still rather funny, if I must say so myself.
1. Default Chapter

[New Disclaimer: This is old and unfinished. I started it over a year ago,  
decided the idea was too similar to other stories, and never continued it.  
But it does have some humorous moments, so I figured I may as well throw it  
out there. Feel free to archive or continue it yourself as you please. ]  
  
  
  
Thicker Than Water  
  
  
  
[Original] Disclaimer: Ranma 1/2 is not owned by me. Most, if not all, of the  
elements used in this story have undoubtedly appeared in other fanfics, but  
I've never written a Ranma story before, so I'm starting with simple ideas.  
I've also never written in pseudo-script format before, so pardon its flaws.  
I'm just trying to get the story idea fleshed out quickly so I can get back  
to other things.   
  
  
Scene: The Tendo Dojo. It is raining. Loud voices are arguing.  
  
AKANE: You *what*?  
  
TENDO: To merge our houses! To ensure the continuation of the family line!  
  
KASUMI: Oh, my. I wish you had told us. I would have worn a nicer dress.  
  
AKANE: Make Kasumi marry him. She'll do anything.  
  
NABIKI: We are going to get a sizable dowry out of this, right?  
  
TENDO: I just want to see one of my beautiful little girls married! *starts  
to cry*  
  
AKANE: As long as it's not me.   
  
There is a knock at the door. Tendo opens it. On one side stands Soun Tendo  
and his three daughters. Tendo is sniffling pitifully. Kasumi smiles  
blankly. Nabiki looks bored. Akane, twirling a finger in her long hair,  
looks angry. On the other side of the door is a young man holding a leash. A  
very thick, sturdy-looking leash. With a panda on the end. Both are soaking  
wet.   
  
RANMA: Excuse me, is this the Tendo house?  
  
KASUMI: *brightly* We don't need to buy a panda at this time. Thank you!  
  
RANMA: What? Oh. No, he's not for sale. He's my... pet. I'm Ranma Saotome. I  
believe you were expecting me?  
  
KASUMI: *chirps* What a nice, polite young man!  
  
RANMA: Do you have a room we could shut him up in? Somewhere where he won't  
damage anything of yours. Oh, and make sure there's no hot water. He's  
terribly afraid of hot water.  
  
KASUMI: Of course!  
  
KASUMI seizes the leash from RANMA and hauls the protesting panda away,  
despite its struggles. It should be noted that the panda is far more massive  
than the girl. She is apparently stronger than she looks. TENDO clears his  
throat.  
  
TENDO: Ranma Saotome, is it? I was expecting your father, Genma.  
  
RANMA: He'll be along eventually. (mutters) Unfortunately.  
  
NABIKI: Are you wealthy?  
  
RANMA: Huh? No.  
  
NABIKI: Not interested.  
  
NABIKI walks further into the house. Both TENDO and AKANE realise that she  
is suddenly the only daughter remaining.  
  
AKANE: No way!  
  
TENDO restrains his daughter with a gentle hand on her shoulder.  
  
TENDO: I am pleased to meet you, Ranma Saotome. I trust your father has  
explained the nature of our arrangement?  
  
AKANE: I'm not marrying him and that's final!  
  
RANMA: Yes. However, if none of your daughters are willing, I'm sure we can  
find some honorable compromise. I wouldn't want anyone to be forced into a  
wedding against their wishes.  
  
AKANE relaxes. TENDO frowns.  
  
TENDO: Are you saying you wish to break the engagement?  
  
RANMA: (sweatdrops, although it's hard to tell against the rain) What? Um,  
no. I'm not breaking anything. I'm just saying it's okay if they don't want  
to. (He wipes water out of his eyes.) Can I come in? I'm getting drenched  
out here.  
  
KASUMI reappears.  
  
KASUMI: Oh, how rude of us! Come inside and have a nice hot bath while I dry  
your clothes for you.   
  
RANMA: Thank you.  
  
Kasumi leads the dripping Ranma to the bathroom. Akane and Tendo continue to  
argue.  
  
AKANE: But he said we didn't have to! Can't we just forget the whole thing?  
  
TENDO: You wish to destroy my honor! *sobs*  
  
Scene shift: Outside the bathroom. Kasumi appears with a basket of laundry.  
Setting the laundry down, she twists at the doorknob. It is locked. A tiny  
frown crosses her features. She twists at the knob again. There is a  
snapping sound, and the door comes open.  
  
KASUMI: *cheery* Clothes!  
  
Kasumi sticks her head through the door to greet the current inhabitant of  
the bathroom. What she sees, however, apparently takes her by surprise.  
  
RANKO: EEK!  
  
The wet, naked, steaming, and very female Ranko leaps out of the bath and  
snatches for a towel to cover herself, hiding her ample breasts from view.  
  
KASUMI: Oh, my!  
  
RANKO: Get out!  
  
KASUMI: All right.  
  
A confused Kasumi leaves the room. Ranko hugs her towel and looks longingly  
at the basket of laundry just out of reach in the hallway. She takes a few  
hesitant steps forwards, then dives for the clothes. Just as she reaches  
them, Akane and Nabiki appear in the hallway. The three girls look at each  
other and all begin screaming. Ranko grabs the clothes and jumps back into  
the bathroom, slamming the door. Nabiki and Akane halt in mid-scream.  
  
AKANE: Who was *that*?  
  
NABIKI: I don't know, but I bet I could get her a job as a model.  
  
AKANE: Nabiki, you shouldn't look at other girls that way.  
  
NABIKI: It's not my fault she was naked.  
  
AKANE: I wonder who she was and how she got into our bathroom?  
  
Akane walks up and opens the unlocked door, only to find a fully clothed  
Ranma behind it.  
  
RANMA: Um. Can I help you?  
  
AKANE: Oh, sorry... whatever your name was. Excuse me, is there a naked girl  
in here?  
  
RANMA: No.  
  
AKANE: Are you sure?  
  
RANMA: I think I'd notice.  
  
Akane looks suspicious.  
  
AKANE: She's your girlfriend, isn't she? Is that why you don't want to marry  
us? You already have a girl?  
  
RANMA: No, that's not it at all!  
  
AKANE: Aren't we good enough for you?  
  
NABIKI: Sis, you're getting emotional. Let me deal with this.   
  
Nabiki gently shoves Ranma and Akane out of the way and begins a careful  
inspection of the bathroom.   
  
NABIKI: Well, there's no one hiding in here, and the window is painted shut.  
So this leaves us with four logical possibilities. One, we all hallucinated  
seeing a girl here. Two, the girl was a ghost or spirit. Three, the girl has  
used some kind of magic to escape without our being able to see her. Or  
four, the girl is still here and is actually Ranma.  
  
Ranma jumps. Nabiki notices.  
  
NABIKI: Hrm. I think I'll have to revise my probability estimates on that  
one.  
  
AKANE: Wait. What?  
  
NABIKI: Watch.  
  
Nabiki snatches at Ranma's shirt. Ranma squeaks, but Nabiki manages to pull  
it open to reveal... a masculine chest.  
  
NABIKI: Strange. That doesn't look like what we saw before. Very  
interesting.  
  
RANMA: Get your hands off me!  
  
NABIKI: I wonder...  
  
Nabiki starts to reach for Ranma's pants. Ranma screeches and stumbles  
backwards, falling into the still-warm waters of the bathtub, where he  
changes into a very unhappy redheaded girl. The Tendo sisters stand over  
her, staring.  
  
RANKO: Um. Hi?  
  
Kasumi reappears.  
  
KASUMI. Oh, dear. And I just dried those!  
  
Cut to the Tendo living room, where everyone is still staring at the  
once-again male Ranma.  
  
AKANE: Let me get this straight. Getting wet makes you change sex?   
  
Ranma nods glumly.  
  
AKANE: Weirdest thing I ever heard.   
  
NABIKI: (mischievous) Weirder even than...  
  
AKANE: Shut up!  
  
KASUMI: (perky) How nice!  
  
RANMA: *Nice*?  
  
Kasumi just smiles. Tendo shakes his head.  
  
TENDO: I'm sorry, young... man... but this is a lot to take in. Not to mention  
the fact that we've never met you before. Without your father here, how do  
we know you're even really a Saotome? (starts to sound overwrought) A  
stranger, after the virtue of my daughters!  
  
RANMA: But I did bring Dad. He's the panda.  
  
TENDO: See here, young man. I trained with Genma Saotome, and he was  
definitely not a panda.  
  
RANMA: It's a magic curse. See, we were at this training ground in China,  
and there were these pools, and if you fall into one of them, then after  
that you change into something else when you get wet.  
  
AKANE: And that's why you turn into a girl.  
  
RANMA: (noncommittal) Mmm. (smiles, a bit forced) So anyway, if you just  
throw some hot water on him, he'll be Dad again.  
  
AKANE: That does it. We are not marrying into this family. I don't want  
babies that change into pigs when you bathe them!  
  
NABIKI: You want babies, Akane?  
  
AKANE: I didn't say that!  
  
RANMA: It's probably not hereditary.   
  
NABIKI: Hrm, I wonder what the odds would be on that...  
  
TENDO: Kasumi, could you go prepare some hot water for the panda?  
  
KASUMI: Right away!  
  
Kasumi exits.  
  
AKANE: You're awfully calm about this whole water changing thing. I mean,  
I'd be pretty freaked out if getting wet made me turn into a *boy*.  
  
Ranma flinches.  
  
NABIKI: (cheerful) Akane doesn't like boys very much. You'll be perfect for  
her!  
  
RANMA: (mumbles) Great.  
  
Akane whacks her sister with a pillow.  
  
AKANE: Pervert! I don't like girls!  
  
Ranma runs his hand over his hair nervously.  
  
RANMA: Anyway, that's kinda why I said it was okay if you weren't interested  
in marrying me. I mean, no hard feelings. This whole curse thing wasn't  
around when you made the original arrangement, so you can break it without  
losing honor...  
  
SAOTOME: No.  
  
Kasumi and a wet Genma Saotome enter.  
  
SAOTOME: A deal is a deal. Our children must be married.   
  
Ranma sighs.  
  
TENDO: Hello, Genma. It's been a long time.   
  
Saotome nods. He looks at Ranma.  
  
SAOTOME: Son, why don't you go practice in the Dojo for a while? Your  
father-in-law and I have much to discuss.  
  
RANMA: (meek) Yes, Father.  
  
Scene shift. Ranma is going through exercises in the Tendo Dojo. Akane walks  
in.  
  
AKANE: Hi.  
  
RANMA: Hi. (continues kata)  
  
AKANE: I just wanted you to know, I don't blame you for this. I mean, you  
seem like a nice guy. I just don't want to get married.  
  
RANMA: Me neither. But I have to do what Dad says.  
  
AKANE: Yeah. (sighs) Wanna spar?  
  
RANMA: Sure!  
  
They fight. Akane is clearly outmatched and winds up getting knocked across  
the room.  
  
AKANE: Wow. You're good.  
  
RANMA: (shrugs) I ought to be, Dad's made me spend my entire life training.  
  
AKANE: Try again, I'm ready this time.   
  
They fight again. Akane gets thrown and lands with an oof.  
  
RANMA: Are you okay?  
  
AKANE: You don't need to protect me cause I'm a *girl*, you know.  
  
RANMA: I wasn't.   
  
AKANE: Oh, really? (looks angry) So you'd have said the same thing if I were  
a boy?  
  
RANMA: Yes. It's stupid to treat someone differently just because of their  
gender.  
  
AKANE: (defused) Oh. (pauses) Try it again?  
  
They fight for a long time. Ranma consistently wins.   
  
AKANE: (panting) Not fair.   
  
RANMA: Sorry. Like I said, Dad's been pretty pushy on my training.  
  
AKANE: But I train too!  
  
RANMA: You know those machines in tennis that fire balls at you so you can  
practice on your own? Dad got a whole bunch of them and set them up in a  
circle around me to teach me to dodge.  
  
AKANE: That's not that bad.  
  
RANMA: I was four years old.  
  
AKANE: Oh.   
  
RANMA: And that was just the beginning.  
  
AKANE: I guess it's not *too* bad that you're better than me, then.  
  
Ranma smiles tentatively.  
  
RANMA: Friends?  
  
AKANE: I'm still not marrying you.  
  
But she smiles.   
  
AKANE: I don't know about you, but I could use a drink.  
  
RANMA: That'd be great.  
  
Akane fetches two glasses of ice water. Predictably enough, she manages to  
trip and spill Ranma's drink all over him.  
  
AKANE: Oops! I didn't mean to make you...  
  
She blinks. Ranma is still male.  
  
AKANE: What happened to the curse?  
  
RANMA: Huh? Oh, um, er... it's only hot water that makes me turn into a  
girl.  
  
AKANE: That's right, you were all wet from the rain when you came here,  
weren't you?  
  
RANMA: (nods) Hot water makes me a girl, cold water changes me back.   
  
AKANE: Okay. I'll go get you another drink. (starts to leave, pauses) Wait a  
second. If cold water changes you back to normal, then why was your father a  
panda in the rain? Is it different for every curse? (Silence. She turns.)  
Ranma?  
  
Ranma is curled up in a ball, crying. Akane looks shocked.  
  
AKANE: Ranma? What... did I... I'm sorry...  
  
RANMA: (crying) Think about it! I promised I wouldn't tell! Just think about  
it!  
  
AKANE: Think about what?  
  
RANMA: The curse! The cold water!  
  
AKANE: The... (Realization dawns.) You're a girl.  
  
Ranma nods pitifully.  
  
AKANE: You're a *girl*.  
  
Ranma sniffles. Akane, too surprised to be angry, walks over and sinks to  
her knees beside him.  
  
AKANE: Why didn't you say so earlier?  
  
RANMA: My father... wrote to your father. He found out you were all girls. He  
needed a son. So he took me to Jusenkyo...  
  
AKANE: He *pushed* you into that cursed pool?  
  
RANMA: And I struggled, and he fell into the panda pool.  
  
AKANE: (sounds angry now) And you weren't planning on telling us you weren't  
really a boy? You were just going to marry m- one of us anyway?  
  
RANMA: I had no choice! Do you think I wanted this? But I have to do what  
Dad says... (sniffles) Please don't hate me! I hoped you wouldn't want to  
marry a sex-changing freak and we could just get out of this whole mess...  
  
Ranma buries his head in his hands. Akane awkwardly tries to comfort him.  
  
AKANE: It's okay. I don't hate you. It'll be all right. Let me get you some  
hot water, and then we can go talk to our parents.  
  
Scene shift, back to the living room.  
  
SAOTOME: Then it's settled?  
  
TENDO: Akane will marry your son.  
  
They shake hands, just as two girls enter the room, one with dark hair, one  
with red.  
  
AKANE: There's a problem with that, dad. He doesn't *have* a son.  
  
TENDO: What?  
  
AKANE: He has a daughter. Dad, I'd like you to meet my friend, Ranko  
Saotome.  
  
Some time later, in Akane's bedroom. Akane is throwing things around,  
apparently trying to reorganise.   
  
NABIKI: So, the Saotome kid's really a girl, huh?   
  
AKANE: Yes.  
  
NABIKI: I wonder if she'd be interested in a modeling contract?  
  
AKANE: Look, just leave her alone, okay? She's had a rough time.  
  
NABIKI: You're awfully protective of someone you've only just met. And  
offering to share your room with her, even! Are you sure we shouldn't marry  
the two of you after all?  
  
Akane throws a stuffed animal at her.  
  
AKANE: Shut up!  
  
NABIKI: You've never made it a secret that you don't like boys...  
  
This time, Akane throws a heavy book. Nabiki ducks.  
  
AKANE: Leave me alone!  
  
NABIKI: Okay, okay, sorry.  
  
She leaves. Akane sinks onto the bed, hugging an old teddy bear to herself.  
  
AKANE: But, when I saw him fighting, I thought he was so... beautiful...  
It's not fair. Why does the only nice boy in my life turn out not to be a  
boy after all?  
  
  
  
  
.... to be continued? 


	2. Chapter 2

[Author's notes: Okay, so maybe I can try to write a litle more of this story. This would be a good time for me to point out that I haven't actually *seen* the show, except for the Reversal Jewel thing. Nor have I read the manga beyond peeking at the English version in the store. Therefore my knowledge of *details* like the size of someone's room or bed is nonexistant. Just assume that hey, this is AU, things can change... Also, we have a lot of plot-set-up going on in this chapter, and less hijinks. Be patient.]  
  
  
  
Scene: Morning. Akane's room. Akane is sitting up in bed, wearing pajamas. Ranko is on the floor with a single pillow, wearing yesterday's clothes. Her hair is loose and tangled.  
  
AKANE: What are you doing down there?  
  
RANKO: I... wasn't comfortable in the bed.  
  
AKANE: You spent the whole night on the floor?  
  
RANKO: I'm used to it. Really. Dad and I always slept on rocks.  
  
AKANE: But you don't have to do that anymore. You deserve better.  
  
Ranko scratches her head and shrugs.   
  
RANKO: Doesn't matter anyway. It's morning now.  
  
AKANE: Right. Just let me get dressed and we can go downstairs for breakfast.  
  
RANKO: *blushes* Uh, I'll go ahead.  
  
She dashes out into the hallway.  
  
  
  
Scene shift. Round the table for a breakfast of miso and rice. Ranko and Genma are both frantically gobbling their food while Kasumi smiles. No sooner does Genma's hand stray towards his daughter's bowl, though, than Kasumi's fingers fly forwards and wrap themselves around the wrist of the elder Saotome.  
  
KASUMI: *dog-scolding* No!  
  
Genma's hand is turning red. He nods, and she releases him. He shakes the feeling back into his fingers, eyeing her warily.  
  
RANKO: Wow, that was great. Thanks, Kasumi. (stands up, brushing off hands) Guess we should be going now, huh Pops?  
  
TENDO: Please sit down, Ranko.  
  
RANKO: (sits) Huh?  
  
TENDO: Your father and I have agreed that there is only one honorable course of action for us now.  
  
RANKO: You can't *both* kill yourselves.   
  
GENMA: Quiet, boy.   
  
TENDO: We have decided to seek out Nodoka and beg her forgiveness.   
  
RANKO: Who's Nodoka?  
  
TENDO: Your mother.  
  
RANKO: My... (glares at Genma) I thought she was dead!  
  
Genma is silent.  
  
TENDO: And I will accompany him, to be sure that he carries out this mission with honor and does not try to run away. Again.  
  
Genma grumbles.  
  
RANKO: So... when do we leave?  
  
TENDO: It may take us some time to locate Nodoka, and even more to calm her down when we do find her. I would not want your long-awaited reunion with your mother to be in such - violent circumstances.  
  
RANKO: You're going to beat up my mother?  
  
AKANE: No, silly, they're going to *get* beaten up. ANY woman would pound a man who ran out on her! And for ten years? That's going to be a *long* pounding.  
  
GENMA: The boy should be able to come if h-... she wants to.  
  
TENDO: You will not hide behind the child. You *will* face your punishment like a man.  
  
KASUMI: Oh, Father, you're so noble!  
  
TENDO: If my wife were here to punish me, I would be so happy... (starts to tear up)  
  
RANKO: So what am I supposed to do, then?  
  
TENDO: (quickly recovering) Until we return, you will stay here and attend school with my daughters. As a fully-trained martial artist, you will be able to protect them in my absence...  
  
AKANE: Hey! I don't need protecting!  
  
TENDO: ... and they will help you fit in with teenagers your own age. I understand you have been out of regular schooling for a long time.   
  
AKANE: Ranko's going to school with us?  
  
Nabiki stands up, eyes gleaming.  
  
NABIKI: Pardon me, I need to check on something...  
  
KASUMI: Please bring in one of your old uniforms when you're off the phone!  
  
Nabiki exits.  
  
RANKO: Uniform?  
  
AKANE: (nods, stands to show off her dress) Like this. They're kind of ugly, but everyone has to wear one.  
  
RANKO: I can't wear that.  
  
KASUMI: Why not?  
  
RANKO: I can't go to school as a girl.  
  
KASUMI: Of course you can. You'll be a proper young lady now.  
  
RANKO: You don't understand. With this curse, I'm like a water magnet. I always get splashed. If I go out in a skirt I'll turn into a boy in no time.  
  
KASUMI: Oh dear. That would be improper!  
  
AKANE: So you're going to tell everyone you're a boy?  
  
RANKO: I'm used to it.  
  
TENDO: (clears throat and glares at Genma) We should be on our way. Kasumi, I trust you to keep the house as wonderfully as you always do. I'll call you every night to keep you updated.  
  
KASUMI: Yes, father!  
  
Tendo and Genma exit. Ranko fetches some hot water and splashes her/himself, then begins to put his hair into a pigtail behind his head.  
  
RANMA: So, no uniform for me, then.  
  
KASUMI: Oh, no. You'll just have to ask the principal to order you a boy's version.  
  
Nabiki returns, carrying a spare uniform.  
  
NABIKI: Here you go.  
  
AKANE: Oh, Rank- I mean, Ranma's decided to go to school as a boy.  
  
NABIKI: (frowns) Let me go put this away, then...  
  
KASUMI: You'd better be on your way. You'll be late.  
  
NABIKI: I'll hurry.  
  
KASUMI: I can put that away for you.  
  
NABIKI: Really, I'll be fine.  
  
KASUMI: (wide smile) I insist.  
  
NABIKI: (suddenly looks nervous) Here you go.  
  
Nabiki hands the uniform to Kasumi.  
  
KASUMI: You three had better get going.  
  
AKANE: Right!  
  
She grabs hold of Ranma's hand. Ranma looks startled, but allows himself to be dragged out of the house. Nabiki follows, mildly disgruntled.  
  
  
  
[So, the parents are out of the way for now, but expecting an unhappy reception at the end of their quest. The girls are headed for school - and how will everyone react to this version of Ranma? Especially with what Nabiki's been up to? What about Ryoga, Shampoo, and Ukyo? We'll see....] 


End file.
